I'm still alive. Or at least my body functions.

I don't know if he liked the picture or not. He never told me. He also never told me anything nice and I wonder why I was even hopeful. After all, I'm not Russian or a Communist. I'm just another hopeless, desperate bitch, looking for something outside her reach.

At times I want to live in a deserted town, where no one's present when I shop, when I study, when I go to a lecture. No one at all, because then there is nobody to tell me that I suck, that I'm impolite, impertinent and otherwise a worthless animal. But the problem is, I don't live in a deserted town. Being lonely in company is the worst thing. Being completely alone in a deserted place is something magic.

Thank you though for your comments on the newest. My own Dorian Gray has consumed my soul, not his.

Keep me in your thoughts for next week. Once that is over... I might start commenting. Just... a few at a time. And if not - after January 13th, my last exam date, I will be available. And I can't wait. This is about one of the most enjoyable things I could be doing... but I do not, because of all this university crap.

Thank you for bearing with me.